Are there any great websites or travel companies that help people customize European travel?

We would like to spend around 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 weeks hitting some of the highlights of Europe, but have varied tastes. I would like to see Ireland, the UK, and France, while he would like to hit Germany and Austria. Well, truthfully I think we'd like to see every single country, but that's not logical, so these are our top picks. However, AAA's options don't appeal to me, and I want to avoid spending a fortune on booking everything separately. I know railway is a good option, but is there a sight that can really help us maximize our time and travel pathway?

The problem is that your question is too general. What exactly are you asking? You wont find a website to give you an itinery for your 5 specific countries. But there are plenty of websites which give information so you can read more about the countries you are interested in. Here is one:

http://www.travelswise.com/

By the way, railway is a good option for travel in Europe, but there is perhaps another option. European discount airlines often beat railway for price and will save you time, which is important since you want to see so much in such a limited time. The trick with discount airlines is to book early, as cheaper seats book up first:

http://www.travelswise.com/discountairlines.htm

But there can be delays. Never book two discount airlines flights on the same day.

By the way, here is my recommended itinery (which I think is doable). Fly into London, take the Eurostar (tunnel train) to Paris. Fly from Paris to Vienna. Train to Salzburg. Train to Munich, train to Berlin. Fly Berlin to the UK for your flight back home.

I really rise my eyebrows at you. Attempting to see 5 countries in 3 weeks? Yay, what a whirlwind tour! In the end everything will be such a blur that you'll place the Eiffel Tower in London and the Brandenburg Gate in Paris. Honestly, forget about it. In three weeks you'll at maximum be able to cover 2 countries, but not 5.

I suggest you write the names of the countries you want to see on a piece of paper. Then pin it on the wall and throw a dart arrow. Go and visit the country the dart hits and maybe one neighboring country.

Or compromise between you and the hubby and do a combined France-Germany trip. You need to get a good guidebook for planning. I can recommend the Lonely Planet Guide book series for independent travel through Europe. Another guidebook that is popular is Rick Steves' "Europe through the Backdoor".

Rick Steve's got a site that essentially promotes his books and tours, but has some good travel tips too.

http://www.ricksteves.com

As for spending a fortune on booking everything seperately, it can actually be cheaper to do so if you know the prices for things and are willing to compromise a bit on comfort. You could for example rent a holiday appartment where you can cook your own food instead of staying at an expensive hotel and eat out. If you rent a car to tour the countryside it would be possible to stay in cheap hotels or private pensions for about 50 USD per night for the 2 of you. This is not something a travel agency can book for you, you need to arrange it yourself.